Initially, the beginning of a relationship is always the best part. Especially for those type of women that have these very issues I am speaking about. In the beginning of the relationship, your growing and your trusting him not to be like someone in your past. The love we hope for becomes our goal to reach, and the love we expect becomes our every desire. We deserve it, we expect and then... He doesn't come home, he forgot to call, he forgot your date, he forgot your birthday. Suddenly, the love of your life becomes your ex and the ex before that and the ex before that. Don't laugh! You know its true! I'm telling you because I am guilty of it. I did it too. We automatically assume he is a piece of shit and he is cheating, or lying about where he is and the list goes on and on.
OK! I know what your thinking. He did cheat, and he did lie and he wasn't at his boys house. Okay, maybe he wasn't but was he with a women? Did he not go to his boys house because he wanted a drink at the bar? Or did he lie to protect you or to avoid the very reason why you are angry? Think about it. Most often then none, a man is going to avoid drama. He is not trying to hear your mouth woman! He knows about your past, because you told him. He knows your going to get mad, because you warned him. And he knows your going to lock his ass out the house, because well, your crazy.
We have a good reason to be cautious of the relationships we are in, and the men we are in them with. But we also have to be careful that we aren't allowing our thoughts and fears to destroy something good and plentiful to our lives. We as women, allow our emotions to get the best of us and sometimes that could be costly.
Don't fix something if it isn't broken. Ever heard that before? Well I say, don't brake something that is fixed! Keep the foundation you have and evaluate the relationship, but keep the emotions and feelings to yourself till you have the proof you need to move forward with your accusations. Because trust me, If he isn't cheating, or if he isn't lying because he wants to hurt you, your just pushing him to do so.
I don't feel that any man should lie to his women, but I do understand why they do. And, ladies lets be honest, your not so truthful yourself. So lets be fair. Respect each other enough to allow the space you both need without the over thinking. Just because your out there doing it, don't mean he is! BOOM! The truth hurts don't it? I am just keeping it real!
If it isn't working out, take a brake. Figure out what is bothering you, talk about it. Listen to the advise of others. Your friends and family know what's best for you, trust their judgment. Don't wait till the situations is too heated that you both grow hate for each other and something drastic happens that could of been avoided.
Love is very hard to maintain. It doesn't happen over night, and it doesn't end easily. Be careful who you open your heart to. And ladies, I know we often go by our instincts and they say our instincts are always right. But instincts and past issues don't mix. Every man that comes in your life is not your ex. And every instinct you have is not always on point. Build enough space between relationships in order to avoid the drama.
Most men hate the fact that a women has been hurt in her past and will try to avoid a relationship with her. Most men believe these women are easy and can take advantage of their vulnerability. And then there are men that no matter what your past was, they are determined to make sure your future will never be anything like your past.
Ultimately the best advice I can give you is this. Allow God to be your matchmaker. Let God guide you toward the right man. What God does he does perfectly and he will never fail you!
God Bless!
Judy Ortiz
Thoughts Of A Real Woman ... Pieces of Me
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